so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
