do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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