Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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