What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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