Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
