I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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