party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
