pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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