hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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