Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
