All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
