you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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