U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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