I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
