Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
