You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
