when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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