If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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