I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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