We won't sleep together?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
