i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
