no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize