the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
