Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
