We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
