remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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