for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
