Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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