Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
