that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
