if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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