So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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