You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
