can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I will be naked everywhere
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my poor anus
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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