Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
