i think my tv is drunk
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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