Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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