Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
