I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
