Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
