Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
