I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
