can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
