you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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