umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She told me I should be a condom model.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
