their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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