Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
