Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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