it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
