capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
