Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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