you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
