Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize