Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
