I forgot how hot balto sounded
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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