Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
