he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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