I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
