The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
