Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I could fuck to npr.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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