He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize