I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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